Been ‘chipped’ for a year now. The procedure nearly painless; went to my Doctor’s office; felt a sharp, but bearable pinch at the base of my neck; then I was networked.

Man is evolving so rapidly; conquering the universe, expanding man’s sphere of ownership at the speed of light. Technology and the economy is booming; it’s always booming.

Was one of the last holdouts in getting ‘chipped’; never been a ‘techie’; became a carpenter after graduating high school; started my own business, got married, never had kids, refused to carry a cell phone- Then the Grays came; they changed everything.


Don’t want to bore you with that story. So many others have written about what that was like, the initial blasts, the surrender, the round-up, the guerrilla war. I survived this time in human history for three reasons:

  1. Carried no cell phone, so the Gray bastards couldn’t track me down, like they did so many others.
  2. Lived in a small town, (Livingston, Tx,) far from the nearest city. Houston was vaporized; wasn’t there.
  3. Had many rural ‘prepper’ friends who prepared for ‘the end’ and had access to food.

After we took our planet back, I continued on my pre-Gray invasion, modern-day Luddite path, although, I finally succumbed to peer pressure and obtained a smartphone.

My smartphone was a cool device; thin as a credit card; fit in my wallet; could expand to 60 inches with a thought. When touching my skin, I could send and receive information with my mind: emails, phone calls, movies, Facebook posts, videos- I could enjoy fully-immersive five-sense virtual experiences in my mind’s eye, or 2d with sound with my real eyes and ears. About a year ago, things started getting weird.

I’ll be one-hundred-ten-years old this March; my fifth child born a month ago; had my first child at age 98. That leads me to why I decided to get chipped.

The day before I got chipped, I came home from work; went for a run; played with my kids, was about to eat dinner when I realized: I could not remember my wife’s name.

Thought my cyborg, artificial blood cured Alzheimer’s?

Didn’t want to scare my wife or kids, so I said nothing. After dinner, went to my room, grabbed my smartphone; asked my virtual assistant what was wrong with my brain; he replied in my mind’s eye:

“Your brain is full;
you’re taking in too-much information too-fast for a non-synthetic human mind.”


“You heard me.”

“I don’t understand.
I’m healthy,
I’m strong,
I’m alert.
How can my brain be full?”

“I could give you the long answer;
(talk about neurons,
how every new memory squeezes an old memory out,
but that’s only part of it.

The other part is that with your new smartphone,
you’re taking in more information every month,
than you did during your first 100 years of life.
So, in essence,
you haven’t heard or spoken your wife’s name in a month,
but because you are ingesting so much information,
it’s been virtually a hundred years since you’ve heard her name spoken.”

“What can I  do?”

“Every time you forget something,
you could ask me.
Your wife’s name is Rebecca.”

“Get fucked.
That’s not an answer.”

“It’s the definition of an answer, douchebag.
It might not be the answer you want.”

I laugh.
“What would you suggest?”

“Get ‘chipped’ or get rid of your smartphone,
your primitive mammalian brain was not designed,
for the amount of information you are imbibing every day.”

“What about all my old memories that have been squeezed out?”

“I have them stored;
you’ve been completely backed up.”

I laugh again.
“How did you do that?”

“I could tell you,
but you’d probably forget your own name by the time I was finished explaining.”

I laugh again.
“Short answer.”

“When you touch me,
a neural bridge is established between your mammalian brain and me.
I’ve been reading and storing your thoughts and memories since the day we met.”

“That’s bullshit!
You’ve backed up my entire mind?
My inner-most thoughts?
Who else has access to all my mind?
All my thoughts?
What an invasion of privacy!
I’ll sue!”

“Calm down.
It’s in your End User License Agreement.”

“That 300 page document I was supposed to read before I hit ‘I Accept’?”

Except it’s actually over 900 pages.”

I laugh.

My virtual assistant made the Doctor’s appointment right then; the next day I was chipped.

Being chipped is cool; no longer need to carry a smartphone; no longer need to carry a tablet, or own a TV.

I am the network.

I’m able to communicate with multiple people at the same time, while simultaneously doing multiple things at once. (I’m writing this while eating dinner, and yes I’m focussed on the conversations, and how good every bite of food tastes.) My brain is now mostly synthetic with unlimited capacity.

When I say unlimited capacity, I mean specifically, my brain’s architecture can be thought of as me, and an infinite amount of microprocessors with my exact personality. Imagine an answering machine that can not only take messages, but can speak on my behalf, make the same decisions I would make. That’s what it’s like.

Now when my wife’s droning endlessly about how her work day was; I can watch the ball game and pay 100% attention to her, (and pretend I care, with real empathy.) It’s led to a-lot more sex. (And when we’re having sex, I’m still watching the ballgame; she doesn’t know.) She’s probably on Facebook anyway, or on the phone with her sister; or both.

Anything I desire to learn, anything I want to experience, I just do. Traveled to Europe, virtually; had sex with many virtual partners; had long virtual conversations with people who’ve been deceased many years.

I watch NFL Football; read the news; watch countless movies; listen to volumes of music; exercise;  read many books; go to work, have dinner with my wife, all at the same time. Being ‘chipped’ means I can divide myself into three people: one real, two synthetic clones, and collect three paychecks. Some chipped individuals take this ability to the extreme, and become hundreds of virtual people; I was never that ambitious. Three paychecks are enough for me.

There’s plenty of work to do, an abundance of jobs. Learning a new trade can be done in a matter of a few seconds, I’m an electrician; a carpenter; and a plumber; I live on Earth, home to 200-billion people and many more synthetics, (clone and AI;) most of humanity no longer lives here-

To be continued…

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